I started this blog when I was in my early 20s while studying for a degree in Mathematical Physics in UK. The specific reasons of why I started this blog escaped me now, but if I had to conjecture, it was probably due to the need to escape from the feelings of lonely desperation which I felt during my time as an undergraduate student. I had little friends during that time, owing to my problems with social anxiety, and thus most likely started a blog to connect with people somehow, friends in Malaysia as well as strangers.
This year, I turned 40 and by chance, I found myself reviewing and re-reading some of my old blog post again. What strikes me in reviewing my old writing, seen from the eyes of an older person with the detachment of time, is that I have within me a kernel of talent for literary work and perhaps given the right mentoring and spiritual healing (for I was pretty messed up internally and couldn't write truthfully from soul), I could have potentially made a career out of writing.
Alas, this is not what how my life was meant to be and while I did manage to kept up blogging sporadically for a few years, it ultimately amounted to nothing but a diversion from the problems of my own life, and ultimately it sputtered out as I graduated from University and joined the so-called real world
Much has happened in the intervening years, I got a job, learnt to work, met my wife, completed my PhD, got married, became a father, started a business, bought a house, exited the business, became a corporate worker, rose through the ranks, fell through the ranks and finally came to know God (whom I mocked and derided in one of my old blogpost as a young acerbic know-it-all)
Perhaps, at age 40, it is good time for me to restart this blog, to learn how to write systematical and contemplative articles to myself, my son and the odd stray reader (old friends perhaps?), which are truthful expressions of my soul, rather than vain outputs of someone obsessed about projecting a confident image of world-weary cynicism to the readers as a means to justifying himself to himself.
What can I write about ? Perhaps observations about world events, my developing understanding of religion (I am an Orthodox Christian), short fictional blurbs, ideas about parenting, music and whatever captures the fancy of my mind and soul I suppose at the moment.
Ultimately, I suppose the only criteria is whatever I write, it should be something worth my time to put down into writing, i.e. that the subject or idea that is being written is itself demanding me to make it systematically clear (for that is what writing does), that without which, it itself cannot become a full expression to myself.
So that's it for a start, let us see where this goes...
